...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
