she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She announced her abortion via fbk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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