i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
