Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize