I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
