I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
