I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
