You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
