Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
