Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
