Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
