Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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