I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
