we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I love having hate sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
