Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
