none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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