HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
