dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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