God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
