i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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