vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
