i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize