Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
