walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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