If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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