she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She's the barista slut.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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