my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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