It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think a kid would responsible me up
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
