4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
