I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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