I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
