using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
