brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
