Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
