I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
