dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
