dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
