Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
