Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
