The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
