If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize