all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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