I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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