Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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