in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
