i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
