so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
