Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
