Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
