Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
