i wish starbucks made bloody marys
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
