i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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