Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have aggressive nipples.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
