Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
