omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
