i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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