but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
