Pappa wants mamma naked
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
